When I invited Kali into my life, I knew it was needed although I had no idea of what was to come. I felt deep down that change was inevitable and that it was going to be a different kind of life that I would be left with and that is more than true.
I called out to her on my knees, begging for help to bring about the change from a place of stagnancy, of feeling stuck and sure enough she came in like a tsunami ripping through an ocean.
My life looks so different now, looking at what has been over the past 2 years. This isn’t a bad thing but it has brought about fresh energy, direction and it has completely stripped away my own bullshit that I wasn’t even aware of.
My circle of friends has changed beyond belief, sometimes painful but always needed I had to walk away from friendships that were no longer serving my highest good, and some walked from me. It was only painful as I chose to grip on tight to all I knew whilst asking for change to appear, finding it hard to let go of what I was asking to happen caused some rope burn.
My thoughts were similarly changed and stripped back, I began working with my intuition much more, knowing when to eat, sleep etc and acting upon that knowing.
I guess you could say that Kali came into my life and acted as a fire, cleansing me of all that was no longer needed, all that I had built around me in order to step forwards on my journey without the bagggage that would only slow my journey down.
Kali is a goddess energy, she comes to bring about both the endings and beginnings you need to make change, you are not necessarily in charge of how that happens however although maybe you are. She is fierce yet vulnerable, strong yet nourishing. She comes in like a blade through butter to cut away all the crap and then she is about to give you what you need, not always what you want and that can feel terrifying.
It was a time of confusion yet clear sight for me. Looking at my life right now compared to then I find it almost unrecognisable and that is ok as I am now able to move about freely in my journey without carrying things that hinder my growth.
I am grateful for the lessons learned, the endings for they have indeed brought about the new beginnings so needed. Sometimes I have walked desolate places within, vast voids that I have wandered through feeling completely alone and that is ok, just because something is uncomfortable doesn’t mean it is wrong.
It often felt chaotic, like chaos within and external to me and I gradually learnt that it was ok to feel that too for change can be messy. Life is not all roses and rainbows, but true grit and battle scars that tell a tale.
I realised that my yarn – my story needed to be heard as much as anyone’s and that I was weaving my braid on the great loom of life alongside the grandmothers before me and there was room for us all to gather around the great loom bowl. Our own life’s canvas being into woven with all others
Kali energy continues to flow through my life bringing about the change I need and now I am able to flow more with it, getting less friction burns as I allow her to crumble any shit around me andwithin me that is of no use to me. I now see that the tears that fall from my eyes are in fact wisdom of lessons learned along the way.
Kali is the change bringer, she will certainly change your life when you invite her in. How this feels for you is completely up to how much you are willing to bend with her wrath, to release what no longer serves your life. Life is cyclic, we are cyclic and so we must flow with the life-death-rebirth cycle for all else is futile resistance to the inevitable …